If you must...

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.

If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his fiancée, if his passions are strong, and so it has to be, let him marry as he wishes; it is no sin. Let them marry. But if someone stands firm in his resolve, being under no necessity but having his own desire under control, and has determined in his own mind to keep her as his fiancée, he will do well. So then, he who marries his fiancée does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is more blessed if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God. ~ I Corinthians 7:32-40


A good marriage is where both people feel like they're getting the better end of the deal.” ~ Anne Lamott

This is just one of those passages from Paul that reminds me that it was as impossible for Paul to take his personal feelings out of his writing as it is for me to take mine out of my writing.

Let's be clear here. This isn't a text I should believe should be used to bash each other over the head with in regards to marriage of any variety.  Paul is being quite specific to his context here.

He's not a big fan of marriage.  

He's not a big fan of anything dividing our attention from God.

And he thinks this in the context that Jesus will be returning any time.  In Paul's lifetime, anyway.

But he also concedes that what is good for him, might not be good for everyone else.

Paul sees the need for marriage to be for those, well, there's no nicer way to say it than "weaker" in faith.  It's better to Paul if you can restrain your "passions" without needing marriage. 

In this same letter, Paul says that "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." Paul comes at this from his own experience, his own knowledge. Yet as we find out later in the letter, he lifts love up above the need to be correct on a point of theology.  Even when he believes he's right.

With our own experience and knowledge, we might think it is Paul who doesn't get the picture about marriage accurately.  We might believe that marriage is good and right and important and not something simply for restraining our passions. Instead we might see it as something where, as Anne Lamott says, we are each getting the better end of the deal! That's certainly as optimistic a view of marriage as I've read!

None of us escapes our contexts when we come to points of theology or Biblical interpretations.  Not us, and not even Paul.

So when we make those judgments about a theological issue - any theological issue - and when we decide to use a piece of scripture to proof text or prove someone else wrong - this is a good thing to remember.  We all come at the text with our biases.  

But whatever else we might thing we know: knowledge puff up, but love builds up.

Prayer: Lord, let us love first always.  Amen.