Being There

Then Job answered: ...

"How often is the lamp of the wicked put out?
How often does calamity come upon them?
How often does God distribute pains in his anger?
How often are they like straw before the wind,
and like chaff that the storm carries away?
You say, 'God stores up their iniquity for their children.'
Let it be paid back to them, so that they may know it.
Let their own eyes see their destruction,
and let them drink of the wrath of the Almighty.
For what do they care for their household after them,
when the number of their months is cut off?
Will any teach God knowledge,
seeing that he judges those that are on high?
One dies in full prosperity,
being wholly at ease and secure,
his loins full of milk
and the marrow of his bones moist.
Another dies in bitterness of soul,
never having tasted of good.
They lie down alike in the dust,

and the worms cover them.

"Oh, I know your thoughts,
and your schemes to wrong me.
For you say, 'Where is the house of the prince?
Where is the tent in which the wicked lived?'
Have you not asked those who travel the roads,
and do you not accept their testimony,
that the wicked are spared in the day of calamity,
and are rescued in the day of wrath?
Who declares their way to their face,
and who repays them for what they have done?
When they are carried to the grave,
a watch is kept over their tomb.
The clods of the valley are sweet to them;
everyone will follow after,
and those who went before are innumerable.
How then will you comfort me with empty nothings?
There is nothing left of your answers but falsehood." ~ Job 21:1; 17-34

A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down. And if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen. ~ AA Milne (Winnie the Pooh)

As a Lutheran, I believe that we are both 100% saint AND 100% sinner all the time, and that idea is always in the background to me when I read this text. When this passage happens, we haven't yet heard God's own reply in this story, and that's important when taking this passage out of context.

However, that all taken into account, Job's hutzpah here is something kinda satisfying.  His three friends have come to him with what really amounts to a "blame the victim" mentality.  You must have done something wrong to deserve this.  And Job is having none of it.

Job knows he has done nothing to deserve the level of misery that has befallen him, and he is looking for a reason: a real accounting of what's happening to him. 

How wonderful it would have been had his friends been there to walk with Job through his valley of pain.  To hold his hand.  To sit.  To be.  Not to rationalize.

To lay down and listen.

It's just as hard to know sometime what to do with someone's suffering now as it was for Job's friends.  I'm not always elegant with it myself.  Sometimes I've heard platitudes - ones I know I hate - slip from my lips before I can stop them.  

Sometimes I've tried, like Job friends, to answer the question "why" for the suffering person, knowing full well that I can give no answer.

We have Job here then as one who stands up for the suffering person and basically says: "Cut the crap!  I'm in pain and I don't know why, and I know you can't give me a reason either. I just need your companionship right now."

We can't answer why.  And even if we could, when someone is in the midst of pain, they may not really be ready for an answer even if they are asking for it.  They need us just to be.  To be present.  To hold a hand or to wipe a tear.  And maybe, just maybe, that very presence will remind them that they are not alone.  That standing with them also is Christ.

Prayer: Gentle Jesus, you are always in the midst of our pain.  When we are suffering, remind us we are not alone.  And when we are called to answer "why" for a friend or loved one who is suffering, give us the strength to just be for them.  Be present, be loving, be listening, be there.  Amen.